In the year 2215:

This is a place of great value and ritual, you go to it several times a day, it is a necessity, and it is a bathroom. Our bathroom is roughly the size of an African elephant, with a very similar shape to. As you step in through the golden encrusted doorway that is oddly shaped like the bottom of an elephant an aroma hits you like a truck. This smell is not how you would expect a bathroom to smell, the smell leads you curious about what happened here? By the time you have gotten over the most intruding odor in the world you finally realize the atmosphere you are in. The air around you feels like a thick, warm and sour syrup that engulfs your body as you transition from the cool air of the hall. The delicate, shiny blue tile blinds you as you look down. As you walk upon the rough tile your feet feel like they are receiving a hundred mini massages at once. Despite the blue color emitting from the tile the walls and ceiling are bright neon yellow, as yellow as you can imagine it. This choice was a family effort, and since my parents said “Whatever you want son.” The walls are neon yellow. But after 3 steps of massaging relaxation you find the surprisingly well hidden toilet which makes up for the very vibrant ceilings.

This item is the toilet is brighter than the full moon and as the light that is surging from the light bulb located several feet above you reaches the toilet it makes a regretful bounce into your eyes leading to temporary blindness that could last from 4-6 hours. But if you ever get to sit on this magnificent white appliance you will feel the cold glossy seat of the toilet against your bottom and as you make contact even the slightest touch the toilet instantly says “Welcome to your last visit to the bathroom, cause tomorrow on the summer solstice at precisely 5:23 pm you will die.” Yes our toilet is special, and yes it is not supposed to say that but it was obvious that my despicable stubby orange haired brother that is more spoiled than cheese that has been sitting outside on a sunny day for a year had reprogrammed the toilet.

As I exit the lavatory and walk to my room my mother passes by and as she enters the wonderful yet annoying place I realized I forgot the only thing that was not automated with toilets… flushing!