High achieving, ambitious, competitive. Many associate these words with Cary Academy’s students and environment. While creativity, social awareness, and kindness act as prominent forces in Cary Academy’s community and should not be overlooked, those three adjectives often describe the marks of CA’s culture. In rigorous academic environments, outlets without a competitive nature that both serve as intellectual stimulation and provoke personal growth are necessary. Cary Academy’s implementation of dialogue serves as one of these critical outlets.

 

An avenue of communication that differs from more traditional methods of discourse and discussion, dialogue prioritizes empathy-based listening, speaking, and understanding over constructing cases or rebutting points. One instructional handout  succinctly contrasts dialogue and debate, stating that, while debate “implies a conclusion,” dialogue remains open ended, and focused on “finding common ground.” Other aspects of dialogue include speaking solely from personal experience, refraining from generalizations, intentionally listening, and posing questions of genuine interest.

 

In 2017, Cary Academy partnered with Essential Partners to bring the Dialogue Across Difference program to the school community. While the program began in 2017, many students recall their first Cary Academy dialogue experience occurring shortly after the Covid-19 pandemic began. The mandatory dialogues for students were intended to spark connection, taking place at a time during which the community was arguably the most separated. A few months later, students participated in another dialogue that focused on the division and polarization that stemmed from the 2020 presidential election. Dialogue offered the perfect opportunity to empathetically communicate ideas about controversial and hot-button topics. Camryn Friedman (’23) comments, “The dialogue helped us talk through differences in opinion on the election, as well as how to handle the results.”

 

Community dialogues are beginning once again in the 2021-22 school year. Shortly after the start of classes in August, a group of eager students gathered in the discovery studio for a three hour dialogue facilitation training session, led by two professionals from Essential Partners: Nadiya Brock and Kimberly Shaw, a former CA employee. Brock says that learning dialogue has touched aspects of her life outside of practicing dialogue in a formal setting. “I think a lot more now about purpose when I’m interacting with people. I find that clarity of purpose can help everyone relax more into certainty,” she reflects. Shaw says that she “fell in love with communication that makes a difference.” Brock notes this central aspect of dialogue as well, commenting, “Dialogue is a tool that works for long term systemic change.”

 

The students’ excitement was apparent on the first day of training in the new school year, as evidenced by participatory chatter, thoughtful questions, and eagerly raised hands. The three hour session was divided into various parts, including a large group discussion, presentations, and smaller group workshops. Small groups of three or four students simulated dialogue using real scripts. For many students, a highlight was the opportunity to respond on the fly to hypothetical situations in which facilitators needed to intervene. Students learned to gracefully direct their dialogues in productive ways while exhibiting both sensitivity and firmness. Some students, such as Christina Polge (’22), who had previously led dialogues, helped coach juniors and sophomores in these small group sessions and shared their insights from past dialogue experiences. Polge says she has “always loved stories” and that, through dialogue, “getting to tell [her] own and also being able to listen to others makes such a difference for [her]”. She continues, describing dialogue as a “space for people to have conversations about difficult things, which is essential for our community to continue moving forward.” Other students echo this sentiment, saying that having dialogues with peers who are different from them helps foster a sense of deeper understanding which may not have been formerly present. Adi Solomon (’23) says that he “finds great value in meeting individuals unlike [himself]” and believes that dialogue can lead others to form new opinions and perspectives, which creates a space where learning can more easily take place.