A family of 5, an island off of Asia, and a hardworking student with big dreams.
After living in North America for only a few years, my parents were invited to a Thanksgiving dinner with some coworkers. They offered to bring a beef dish, assuming it was to be had for the main course of the meal. However; when they arrived, they were resentful to not have known that it was traditional in the States to have turkey as the main meal and no other meat besides ham. This is a representation of the cultural misinterpretations that were present in the immigration process for my parents.
My mom was born in Colombo, Sri Lanka: a remotely small island that is culturally similar to India and Thailand. She was raised in a Roman Catholic home and school system, despite being surrounded by Buddhist culture. In her hometown, education was valued above all else, and everyone lived a pretty simple life. They had needs, but not luxuries. However, they had nothing to compare their lifestyle to so they were content with their lives. Being the oldest of three sisters, her life was mainly a balance between school and helping her mom care for her two younger sisters.
Only a small percentage of the population is able to attend college in Sri Lanka. The members of each graduating class are required to take a standardized exam in which the results are gauged to allow the top scorers to move on to a higher education. She was the first one out of her family and relatives to attend college, a tribute to her hard work and determination.
After spending her whole life in a third world country under the care of her parents, she was ready to explore new heights. After receiving her undergraduate degree she didn’t feel quite ready to move into the working world, so instead applied to schools in the U.S. Although she would have loved to continue studies in her home country, there just weren’t very many opportunities.
Acceptance into Dalhousie in Canada was what first caused the immigration wheels to turn in her head. This is where she met her husband (my dad) and received her masters degree in chemistry. The main problems she struggled with included the food, weather, and people. A big adjustment for her after growing up in a tropical country was the 6 months of continuous snow from October-April. Tying into this is the difference in culture and foods than that which she was used to. “Everything I hated back home, I started missing”. Her mother’s cooking was irreplaceable. The people, though, became her biggest fright. Before coming to Canada, she never thought about what it would be like to be a minority. It simply never crossed her mind. Most everyone in her vicinity was Caucasian at the time, so she felt out of place for the first time in her life. This goes along with the fact that the British English accent and dialect was way different that the English they spoke back home.
The marriage of my parents was what eventually caused their move to the United States. They wanted to make a living for themselves after university. So, my dad accepted the first job he was offered in Kansas and my mom followed him there. She describes living in the Midwest as “lonely” and “rural”, compared to her big-city living in Sri Lanka. She wanted to leave, but it seemed that she had no choice. The only thing she found to keep her busy was the huge basketball culture at the University of Kansas, where they worked in a lab. They will always be Jayhawks fans. Briefly after this, they both wanted to attend graduate school, so my mom moved up north to go to Yale university. When they decided they were finished with education and wanted to settle down somewhere, they applied and found permanent jobs in RTP. My dad, at Glaxo Smith Kline where he still works to this day.
What makes their immigration story different from the others is that they came here from Sri Lanka for education. Usually, people from her home only come after completing education and work in the country, then possibly moving to the U.S. for a better life much later. However, they had the unique opportunity to come specifically for educational purposes. They were also able to explore many parts of the continent before they permanently settled down in RTP. The main thing she learned throughout her journey was that despite any obstacles that are thrown at you, you need to know yourself and your goals, your shortcomings and your differences, and facing the challenges associated with these things will be easier than not accepting who you are.
My mom is now a research professional in North Carolina. She describes her quality of life being much better that when she lived in Sri Lanka. This country has provided so many opportunities for her. The healthcare is better, the opportunities for career change and advancement are better, and the overall religious freedom is better, as a Christian who came from a Buddhist country.
