I run as fast as I can.
“Ji-li, come on. Come to school right now. Someone’s written a da-zi-bao about you. Come on, let’s go.” I says as I dash into her house. I grab her arm and drag her to the stairs in alarm.
“Wait.” Ji-li says, shaking off my hand,” Hold on. What did you say?”
“Your name appeared in a da-zi-bao,” I say, full of despair. I see Ji-li’s puzzled face. Right away, I know I don’t like it.
“My name? Why? I’m not a teacher,” Ji-li asks,” Why would they write a da-zi-bao about me?”
I quickly respond, “I don’t know. But I saw it with my own eyes. Du Hai and Yin Lan-lan and a couple of others were writing it. I couldn’t read it, but I saw your name in the title.” After I finish talking, I wheeze heavily and look at Ji-li. I know Ji-li is strong, but I see her eyes and feel bad for her. There is a small part of me that regrets telling her about the da-zi-bao. “No,” I think to myself,” It was the right thing to do.”
Ji-li and I run off to the school playground where the latest da-zi-baos were. We searched frantically for the da-zi-bao. Maybe I shouldn’t show her the da-zi-bao.
As soon as I think this Ji-li yells out, “There it is!” We run over to the poster and stare at it. I take one look at Ji-li’s face and know this wasn’t a good idea. I should have thought before bringing her here. I glance at Ji-li again and see her face turning pale.
“Oh no,” I quietly say. I suddenly feel the muscles in my body growing tense. Before I know it I am shaking Ji-li.
“Ji-li, Ji-li,” I say frantically. My mind goes blank. Fear grows inside of me. A thought comes to my mind.
She’s dead.
I freeze, not noticing the tears rushing down my cheeks. She can’t be dead. I can’t lose my best friend. The thought of this forces me to shake Ji-li. Just as I’m about to lose hope, Ji-li’s eyes open. I sigh in relief. Ji-li grabs my arm and we run out of the school yard. We stop at the back door of a small cigarette shop. I try to say something, but Ji-li doesn’t let me. I don’t dare to tell her my thoughts from before.
“Let’s go home,” I suggest. The sky was becoming dark.
“You go ahead. I’m going to read the–,” Ji-li says. I know what she means. I nod sympathetically and leave. She probably just needs some space to collect her thoughts.
A few hours later, I return to the cigarette shop. I didn’t see Ji-li come home, so I assumed she was still here.
I see her frightened face and say,” Ji-li, it’s me. I came back. I was getting worried.” I say this with complete honesty. I don’t know what she is thinking, but I know she read the da-zi-bao. Suddenly, I see tears gush out of her eyes.
“Oh An Yi. How could they say these things? How could they say them? A relationship between Teacher Ke and me? It’s all lies,” Ji-li says with a hoarse voice,” It…it…it’s so unfair. I have never gotten one point, not a single point, that I didn’t deserve. And I spent so much time helping Yin Lan-lan and the others with their arithmetic, and now they go and insult me like this. It’s disgusting, I-.” She doesn’t finish her sentence. Now I know how she feels. I believe her because everything she just said is true. Ji-li works hard on everything she does, and I admire that.
I keep silent for a while. I walk beside her with my hand on her shoulder. I know how she feels and try to comfort her. I want her to know that I understand what she is going through.
Finally, I say,” There were a lot of da-zi-bao about my mom, too. They said she was a monster and a class enemy.” I remember my mom’s face when she told me about the da-zi-baos. She looked beaten like someone had hit her in the face. She couldn’t do anything about them. I feel tears pour out of my eyes. Ji-li stops, my hand still on her shoulder. I squeeze her arm while the tears run down my cheeks. We stand here for a long time, without talking.
Today’s been a long day.
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